What Steps Should Victims of Domestic Violence Take in Family Court?
Domestic violence can affect every part of a person's life, especially when issues like divorce, child custody, or protection orders are involved. For domestic violence survivors, knowing what steps to take can offer a sense of direction during an intensely stressful time.
At Columbia Family Law Center, we've worked with many survivors who need more than just legal answers—they need to feel seen, protected, and heard. There are steps you can take to prepare and protect yourself. Partnering with our domestic violence attorneys is often one of the most important decisions you can make.
Start With Immediate Safety Planning
Before anything else, safety has to come first. If you're still living with your abuser or in a volatile situation, developing a personal safety plan can help reduce the risk of harm while you begin the legal process. This becomes especially important if children are involved or if you're planning to leave the home.
An attorney can connect you with advocates and resources in your area who understand your situation. Even before any court proceedings begin, taking steps to prioritize your safety can protect you both emotionally and physically while laying the foundation for the legal process ahead.
Seek a Protection Order Through Family Court
Once you’re safe, one of the first legal steps you can take is filing for a protection order, known in Washington as a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO). These orders can place legal restrictions on your abuser, including no-contact provisions, temporary custody arrangements, and exclusive use of a shared home or vehicle.
To file for a DVPO, you’ll usually need to complete several forms that explain your situation and why protection is necessary. The court may issue a temporary order quickly—sometimes on the same day—followed by a hearing to determine whether the order should be extended or modified.
When preparing to file, it's important to gather specific documentation that supports your request. This may include a detailed written statement of the abuse with dates and examples, copies of threatening or harassing text messages, emails, or voicemails, and medical records or police reports related to past incidents, if available.
You may also want to include witness statements or affidavits from people who are aware of the abuse. A domestic violence attorney can help you draft these materials clearly and persuasively, giving the judge a complete picture of the harm you’ve experienced and your need for legal protection.
Prepare for the Family Court Hearing
Family court hearings can be emotional and intimidating, especially when you're facing the person who caused you harm. That’s why preparation is so important. Knowing what to expect can help you feel more confident, especially if you're working with an experienced domestic violence attorney who can speak on your behalf.
Steps to prepare include:
Reviewing your affidavit and any supporting documents with your attorney
Gathering new or additional evidence that may strengthen your case
Making a list of key points you want the judge to understand
Planning ahead for any childcare or transportation needs on the day of court
If the court grants a long-term protection order or modifies custody arrangements, those decisions can have a lasting impact. That’s why it's important to show up prepared—with emotional support if possible—and to let your attorney guide the legal strategy while you focus on telling your truth.
Ask for Custody and Visitation Protections
Domestic violence often plays a significant role in child custody and parenting decisions. Washington family courts are required to consider any history of abuse when determining parenting plans, which means you can ask the court for supervised visitation or to limit contact if your child is at risk.
When requesting custody protections, it's helpful to present a proposed parenting plan that outlines safe and appropriate arrangements, along with documentation such as a Domestic Violence Protection Order or police reports to support your concerns. You should also provide information about how the child has been affected by the abuse and suggest supervised visitation providers.
An attorney can help you draft a parenting plan that prioritizes your child’s safety while preparing for possible objections from the other parent. Even if your abuser denies the abuse, the court will take protective measures seriously when credible evidence is provided.
Work With Court Advocates and Support Services
You don't have to face family court alone. In many counties, survivors of domestic violence can access court-based advocates who offer support, help with paperwork, and information about next steps. These advocates aren’t substitutes for legal representation, but they can play a valuable role in helping you stay grounded during an emotional process.
Additional resources that may be available include:
Domestic violence shelters and crisis lines
Legal aid organizations
Supervised visitation centers
Counseling services for survivors and children
Having both legal and emotional support during the family court process can make a meaningful difference. If you're working with a domestic violence attorney, they can help you access these services and connect with professionals who understand what you’re going through.
Gather and Organize Key Evidence
In family court, facts and documentation carry weight. Judges make decisions based on what’s presented to them in the form of evidence, witness statements, and professional reports. For survivors, this means it’s important to gather proof of abuse, control, or intimidation whenever possible.
Examples of helpful evidence include:
Photographs of injuries or property damage
Journal entries documenting incidents
Voicemails, texts, or social media posts that show threats
Medical evaluations or therapy notes (when available)
Financial records showing control or withholding of money
A domestic violence attorney can help you organize this material and determine what's relevant and admissible. They’ll also be able to explain how the court is likely to interpret different types of evidence and what might make the strongest impact.
Keep Legal and Emotional Boundaries Intact
One of the hardest parts of family court for survivors is maintaining boundaries, especially if your abuser continues to contact you or tries to control the situation. It’s important to work with your attorney to set clear legal boundaries and stick to them. Avoid communicating with your abuser outside of necessary court interactions or supervised exchanges.
Let your attorney handle any communication with the opposing party and rely on court-approved platforms for co-parenting or visitation discussions. If you receive harassing or baiting messages, don’t respond—simply keep a record of them. Most importantly, focus on your recovery rather than your abuser’s behavior.
Lean On a Skilled Legal Advocate
The family court process can be full of legal procedures, deadlines, and emotionally charged moments. Survivors of abuse should have someone in their corner who understands both the law and the unique challenges that come with leaving a harmful relationship. An attorney will help you manage court filings, prepare for hearings, advocate for custody protections, and explain your rights.
At Columbia Family Law Center, we’ve supported many clients through the family court process after domestic violence. We know how hard it’s to take these first steps—but we also know how powerful they can be in regaining control of your future. When you're ready to speak with someone who listens and takes your safety seriously, we're here to help.
Contact Columbia Family Law Center Today
Survivors entering family court after abuse should feel protected and supported. Whether you need a protection order, a parenting plan, or a long-term legal solution, working with our domestic violence attorney is a critical step toward safety and stability. If you're located in Washington - Federal Way, Bellevue, the greater Tacoma area, or surrounding counties, Columbia Family Law Center is here to help. Call now to schedule a consultation.
